no PaiN, No gAiN~~~

well first i just wanna keep it quite
tryin to be cool
relax and don't bother
bout wat people would say bout me
but then i just couldn't stand it anymore
people always complainin
they,
who i believed "frens" always sayin
nanana....lalalala....dadadada
dis and dat!
"dinee, kau nie x hbs2 nk study!"

so wat?!
i'm not dat kind of person
who can remember everything (almost) like everybody else

yeah...
i think i had a "short term memory loss" or something
i just couldn't memorised well like people do
and even though i always doin
a lot of questions....a lot of exercises
but still, i couldn't remember
wat was the question
and even though it was just yesterday
still, my memory just couldn't stand dat info
they just wanted to delete!

i just couldn't stand dat...
i makes me wanna cried
but why should i?
why should i cried over somethin
dat is good for me?
for my future?


then,
i realised, i should not cared bout
wat people would said bout me
or looked at me
i know, i'm not dat pandai...
or pretty,
or good in watever thingy~~~
still....
its me!!
if u wanna be frens wif me,
u should be able to understand dat
and accepted me for who i am
and wat I'm not


and well....
i managed to do dat,
after i did my oath on the other day (last post)
i couldn't care more less wat others would say
i just keep on goin
till i finally meet my dreams...
till i satisfies on wat i had


u know,
last four days ago
i force myself to do wat normal people
can't afford to do
i stay in the library till 4.45
got home and at 6.00 sharp
i was on my way to the study room on level one
crazy huh?!
and i stayed there till 11pm
tired....but satisfied!
same goes on for the next day

hopefully dis keep goin till the end of dis year!!

i'm ILL!!

well...
today was a day like no other..
it was indeed a misserable day for me
cuz,
i'm not feellin' well lately~~~~
i'm so tired,
i even waste most of my time sleepin in the class!!!

tryin to go to the library
tried to read or
maybe memorized some of the biology terms~~~
sure!!
it didn't work out!!
i was so tired...
dat i made up my mind
to write dis on my blog...

the feelings were so super duper tired..
as well as dizzy sometimes...
yet dis doesn't makes me more sedey>>>>
as i watched my frens went to the
Newcastle Presentation TODAY!!!
the feeling of jealousy as well as sadness overwhelmed me
as they mentioned the name "Newcastle"!!!
OK!!
so i didn't get the interview....
so wat???!!!!

The real me~~~

I used to be the kind of girl dat so afraid to let it go
to let everybody know who I am
wat I'm capable of...
I used to be shy
not barve and always being bullied by other people
people always take advantage of my silence
scorne me wen they used me

but this time, not anymore!!!
I have a dream
a dream dat absolutely change me to a different person
becoming more brave,
more independent,
more~~~not shy
I am now able to speak out my voice
and sometimes people would listen to me

this is real!!
this is me!!
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
I'm gonna let myself shine
so dat people would noticed me
now, after I found out who I really am
there's no way to turn me back to my old days~~
I liked the new me!!
the new me rocks!!

before, I've always dreamed about a life
dat I'm the shining star
where I got everything dat I ever wanted
>>> good scores
love by everyone
great presenter
even though it seen too far away
for me to reach,
but wat I've gotta do is believe in myself
dat is the only way for me to keep dreamin'

my oth!!

i will not....
alwayz go to the movie theater
>>> to watch movie!
>>> CD/DVD/VCD/TV
and etc.
i will....
cut down my time on
playin' games,
anything bout internet
facebookin'~~~blogin'~~~
as well as friendster & YM!!
i would remind myself.....
dat dis is the last chance
to truly show wat u can do
to ur sis and bros
not to forget
pay everythin' dat my parents gave to me
(eventhough cannot be repay)
>>> their sacrifice to me are sooo priceless

i would definitely gave them happiness
which is my success
for becoming a surgeon (someday!!)

i would oth myself....
dat even though i study hard
but didn't achieved wat i've wanted
i will not make my stress to over whelmed me
i would rise above all my problems
and try to score as much as i could

i promised!!!!
...............................................................................

first i tot of doing dis "promise" wif my fren just for the sake of the test which is just around the corner....
but then i tot,
why not till the end of this year?!
is a good thing to do wat?
(>.~)